The Wedding Bride 2: Revenge of the Ex
by IJustSawScottPilgrimVsTheWorld
Summary: Ted decides to go to Calfornia to confront Tony when he finds out he's writig a sequel to The Wedding Bride. I was a bit dissapointed with the ending of The Wedding Bride so I wrote this.  First Fanfic so please be nice. T 'cos I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**The Wedding Bride 2: Revenge of the Ex**

Disclaimer, I do not own How I Met Your Mother...did you think I did?

Chapter 1: Crazy

**2030**

"Kids, I've told you the story of the Wedding Bride, the movie my ex-fiance's ex boyfriend, Tony, wrote about what happened when Stella left me at the altar for him, but leaving out the part that he was the jerk and I, the hero. Well, I tried to let it go, but it got harder when a rumor of Tony working on a sequel started to swarm the Internet."

**2010**

"Well, it's official Tony's working on a sequel to that Wedding Bride story that almost destroyed my life." I said showing my phone with Internet access to Lily, Marshall and Barney, at Mclarens bar.

Marshall's eyes lit up;

"He's writing a sequel? Oh my god this is so exciting! It's just so...terrible. I can't believe he is doing this to you."

"Aw, sweetie I'm sorry." said Lily.

"Don't be! This time I'm going to California, and I'm going to confront Tony and give him a peace of my mind!". I said determinedly.

Barney scoffed, "What? And get hit by a ten year old with numchucks?"

"It never happened like that..."

"It totally did!"

"Okay," said Lily deciding to interrup them. "Ted, you've done a lot of crazy things in the past, ranging from stealing a blue french horn from a restaurant to asking a girl to marry you in an arcade, but this pretty much tops the list."

Marshall who had always been prone to graphs and pie charts took this on as an invitation to writing a list.

**1 hours later**

"So here's the top ten list of crazy things that Ted has done over the years.

10, Waits outside every Halloween for some girl called the Slutty Pumpkin.

9, Stole a blue french horn from a restaurant.

8, Returned to that restaurant.

7, Died his hair blond.

6, Got in a fight with a goat.

5, Has red cow boy boots and thinks he looks good in them.

4, Told a girl he loves her on the first date.

3, Got a butterfly tramp stamp.

2, Became friends with Barney.

1, Decides to go to California to confront the guy his ex-fiance left him for."

"I can't believe you actually wrote a list" I said rolling my eyes.

"Yeah! Becoming best friends with me..."

"Not my best friend" I said.

"Here" said Marshall.

"...was the best life decision he ever made and...ooh there's a hot blond near the counter having her third shot." And with that Barney left to go talk up the blonde.

"Ted, for the last time this is crazy and you'll just get hurt.." Began Lily.

"You guys can come with me and turn it into a holiday"

Once again Lily and Marshall had one of there telepathic conversations.

_Lily, a holiday to California! _

_Marshall we're trying to talk Ted out of this because it's crazy, it made the top of the list._

_But..._

_I know we haven't been on a holiday for what seems like years, but it's what's best, and no matter how tempting it is._

_But we can see the sets to all the cool movies...and if you think about it Ted will still go even if we don't._

_I still don't know._

"Did I mention I'll pay for for everything?" I said.

Lily and Marshall stared at each other for a moment.

_He'll pay for it Lily_

_Okay let's go and by sun block._

_But how will we make it seem we're not going just because it's free?_

_Follow my lead._

"Well if it means so much to you we'll go." Lily said.

"Great"

Barney then came back to the table with a slap mark on his face.

Lily smiled, "What, did it not go so well, Barney?"

"Same girl I hit on yesterday" Barney said shrugging.

"Hey Barney wanna come to California with us? I'll pay."

Kids, I know what your thinking, I was about to pay for four (five when I ask Robin) people to go to California, for something that was, well, crazy. But when you spend enough time with Barney, he starts to rub off on you.

"Okay, cool, as long as you be my wing man." Barney said cheerfully.

"Fine, come on, let's go see if Robin can come." I said.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned How I Met Your Mother, I would be able to by a hover craft. I don't own it, so...

Chapter 2

**2030**

"Kids, as you know, your Aunt Robin was the TV presenter for the lowest ratings morning show in New York, a show I only saw a couple of times, even though one of my best friends was on it.

**2010**

Robin was sitting on the couch in the set of her show, rehearsing.

"I can't believe I have to interview a lady who thinks her cat's ghost is haunting her house." Robin muttered irritably, flipping through the schedule of her next show.

I sat down next to her suddenly, causing Robin to jump.

"Wow. It's almost as bad as the time you had to interview that psychic who said you were going to die a horrible and painful death." I said smiling at the memory. I hadn't seen the live show, but thanks to YouTube I could easily catch up.

"Ted! What are you doing here? You shouldn't scare me like that! And how did you get past the security?

"What security?" Asked Barney, suddenly sitting on the other side of her, eating a banana absentmindedly.

"Barney!" Robin almost shrieked, "You have to stop that. I almost had a heart attack.

"Hey Robin," said Lily and Marshall at the same time, leaning over the back of the couch. Robin could have sworn her heart skipped a beat.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"God, don't be so uptight Robin, jeez." Barney said, not helping the situation. "We're all going to California for a holiday and you're coming with us! It's on Ted.

"Okay...why are you going?"

"Cos I'm going to confront Tony" I said.

Robin you just stared at me, "Who?"

I sighed, "I can't believe you don't remember, Tony's the guy who wrote the Wedding Bride."

"Oh, sorry. But I can't just leave my job without any notice. Some of us have important jobs you know."

The cameraman/director/producer/manager/weatherman looked up at her, "its okay I'll fill in for you."

"Always nice to know you're wanted." I said patting her on the back sarcastically.

"Fine, I guess I can come then." Robin smiled slightly.

**Later that day at Mclarens bar**

"Okay" I said, "The plane and hotel is booked for tomorrow"

"Tomorrow?" asked Marshall surprised.

"Yeah, sooner we get there, sooner I can go yell at Tony, we're staying for about 5 days, plenty of yelling time."

Barney came back to the table with a limp. "Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ugh, good looking brunette by the counter kicked me in the shin, OW." He sat down at the booth, his teeth clenched together in pain.

"What? Have you already hit on that girl again?" Lily teased.

"Um...yes actually"

**I'd just like to say thank you to my readers. I'll have the next chapter up in a week or two.**


	3. Chapter 3

To my readers: Sorry it's taken a while to post this chapter, I've had writers block:(

Disclaimer: Still don't own How I Met Your Mother

I'd also like to thank everyone who's reviewed.

"So everyone packed?" I asked at the front door of my apartment, a suitcase in my hand. Robin, Barney, Lily and Marshall all had suitcases at their feet.

"Most of us were packed two hours ago, but someone decided he needed 30+ sun cream." snapped Barney glaring at Marshall.

'Hey! I have very sensitive skin. Last time I didn't ware sun cream at the beach I had to go to hospital." Marshall said defensively.

"Come on," I said, "We have to be at the airport in half an hour." 

We took a cab to the airport, I watched the city go past while thinking of what I was going to say to Tony, maybe something like; "Tony, so we meet again, I will get revenge for what you did to me and stop your plan to make a sequel." Bit to dramatic? Or maybe I'd just go wrestle him to the ground like my Mexican wrestler doppelganger. I unzipped my carry-on bag and pulled out a notebook, I started to write down a nice long speech to say to him. Robin looked at what I was doing.

"You're writing down a speech?" asked Robin.

"Sure I want it to be-as Barney would say-legendary!"

Robin laughed, "Yeah suppose you want it to be good, after all he put you threw...although he _did _get you that job as a teacher."

"So? That's one job, he created a billion dollar grossing movie and stole the girl I was in love with. That job was only to ease his guilt."

"True, true, oh look we're almost at the airport."

We had just made it to the airport in time, as we boarded the plane, Barney said;

"Looks like me and my favourite wingman are sitting next to each other, and this is the airline with the good looking flight attendances. I take window seat!"

"Wouldn't that mean you were further away from the ''good looking flight attendances?'' I said.

"I don't take window seat!' said Barney quickly.

"Although I do remember booking the seats so I was going to sit next to Robin." I said annoyed.

"Robin swapped tickets with me this morning"

I glared at Robin, "This is for scaring you at work the other day isn't it?"

"Yep" she said cheerfully.

I wasn't looking forward to sitting next to Barney for the next 6 hours. It would probably involve plans of picking up women and a lot of the word legendary.

**Half an hour later**

I was daydreaming about punching Tony while the sound of a drink being tossed brought me back to reality. I looked at Barney; the flight attendant seemed to have thrown a glass of water at him.

"What happened?" I asked with a sigh.

"That was a woman I slept with like a month ago; I pretended I was the prime minister of Finland."

"You are so going to hell. Although why do you keep hitting on women you've already slept with?"

"I don't know...but it's really creeping me out."

"Maybe you've slept with every hot available woman out there." I said as a joke, but Barney's eyes widened with shock.

"Oh god, Ted what if your right? I know...I gotta...I...I think I need some time alone..."

"Yeah you'll have to get used to being alone from now on."

Barney looked seriously frightened and ran down the pathway of the plane, the flight crew trying to calm him down, I felt guilty, but it _was_ fun.

"What happened?" asked Robin taking Barney's seat.

"Oh I told Barney that the reason he keeps flirting with the women he's already slept with is because he's been with every available woman."

"He _does_ deserve it." said Robin, now watching the flight crew on the phone to police.

It took another hour to calm Barney down, he finally returned to his seat looking miserable;

"Ted? Do you really think there's no one left for me to never call again?"

"Yes, Barney. I think there's no one left for you and soon you'll have to become a monk."

Barney didn't seem to pick up the sarcasm in my voice and started freaking out again. Lily and Marshall asked what happened and when I told them, like Robin they seemed to think he deserved to be taught a lesson.

Before we knew it the sun was setting and we had arrived in California. Barney walked next to me looking depressed. While Robin, Marshall and Lily all looked cheerful.

As we walked through the LAX, a security guard suddenly came up to us; he was very tall and looked like someone you wouldn't want to mess with.

"Sir, are you Barney Stinson?" asked the man.

"Not anymore," said Barney dully, putting his head in his hands.

"Um, we were alerted that you were acting unusual on board the plane."

"That was nothing, my friend was just a little upset, it's nothing to worry about" I said.

"Oh, are you two travelling together?"

"Yeah, the five of us are."

Look Mr...um..." Marshall looked at the man's badge, "Security, Barney's just upset about something that really isn't important and you should be worrying about that couple that keeps checking their bag every five minutes, there seat was C-17 and C-18.

The man started talking rapidly into his microphone and hurried away.

"Was there really a suspicious couple at those seats," asked Robin.

Marshall cringed, "Nope but the old lady and pregnant woman are in for a shock."

"We should go clear things up." said Lily, but we all stood there not moving a bit, "You know they'll sort it out."

"Totally" we all agreed and got a cab to our hotel.


End file.
